GUESTPOST: what does it take to have a lasting relationship? By Cydney Helsdown

before i start i'd like to congratulate Steve & Ysabelle on their 1st anniversary. i'm such a hopeless romantic and there's nothing i love seeing more than two people entirely devoted to each other and happy together. seeing this lovely couple last a whole year (and many more to come i hope) has got me thinking about relationships - what i want to know is what makes a lasting relationship? i've asked all the people i know (and more) in a long term relationship what has got them through the trials of love and here's what they said:

'By being able to be completely yourself around them and them being your best friend. Also telling them you love them everyday ' 

-Katie 

 'we always bicker and we're really honest, but if you don't get it out of your system you just end up having a massive blow out' 

-Gemma 

 'sharing the same morals & values & not so much about curves & lip gloss. Looks are good, but looks go..' 

- Cho Sparg  

'Every month me and my guy have 'date night'... a night dedicated to me and him.It usually involves going for cocktails or to a meal - aslong as it's just our night.' 

- Jessica

 'we get on with our own things and separate interests independently . I don't want to do aqua aerobics similar to her not wanting to rub round playing 6 a side football' 

- Anonymous 

 'having same things in common, definitely humour as well - we always make each other laugh' 

- Amy 

 'He stood by me and was the only thing that kept me going and made me not give up' 

- Kat 

 'Keep talking & make time for each other but also respect each others interests & time alone.' 

- Joanne 

 'Two halves don't make a whole. They make a whole big mess. I'd say two whole & healthy individuals who make a conscious decision to create a loving partnership.' 

- Carmen 

when i confronted these people with the question most of them didn't really know how to answer - i think that says a lot about relationships: you don't really know what gets you through the hard times but as long as you do get through it that's what matters. your love and care for another person is what sees you through hard times in your life as well as those stupid arguments and disagreements, without a little argument now and then there's no passion. what's love without passion ay? in the end you just have to swallow your pride and remember why you're with that person.

the things that get you through can be as small as avoiding social networking sites - keeping your relationship private can prevent all sorts of arguments - right up to massive moral commitments such as faithfulness and honesty... for Ysabelle honesty has got her and Steve so far. i think honesty is mandatory but so are many other things which can can be different with every couple i know. i've found for Matt and i, being understanding has helped us get through a lot of arguments.

the one thing i've learned from everyone who shared their stories is that:  no matter how hard things get, if you stick by that person's side when they most need it, that's the greatest act of love and friendship you could ever give and in turn that person will be forever grateful.

i believe fate bought Matt & I together, so i think i owe it to him and the universe to be the best i can for him and make this relationship last a lifetime because it's not about perfection, it's about finding someone who can stand you and all your awful habits, they can see past the occasional dandruf and farting in bed plus all those annoying habits you probably aren't aware you have and still decide that they want to be with you. so what is it about your relationship that stands the test of time? this evening show your loved one why you're still there & why you will be for a long time. 

for more from me visit my blog & twitter 

Thanks so much to Cydney for writing this lovely post for us! 

Hope you enjoyed it, make sure you check out her blog and give her a follow :) 

muchos love 

Ysabelle and Steve 

xxxx